I have a deep fascination with women and desire.
It’s been a beautiful and essential part of my own path to erotic awakening and empowerment learning how to navigate desire, as in the things I want and as in the feeling of sexual desire in my body.
In this episode of the Sensually Embodied Woman Podcast, I’m talking all about women and desire and how powerful and necessary it is for us to tap into and work with.
So many women have a fucked up relationship with their desires along with their pleasure, sexuality and orgasm.
This episode will help you start to unearth your desires and bring sexual desire in so you can stay TURNED ON to your desires and actually start to get what you want. Your pleasure, sexual energy and orgasm play a huge key in this and I share more about that in the episode.
Listen in and learn…
- Why a woman’s desire is so powerful & how our appetite for more has been denied
- Five ways to start getting into your desires & your sexual desire NOW
- How your pleasure, sexual energy and orgasm play into it
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THINGS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Orgasm Your Way to Getting What You Want [Video]
Napoleon Hill’s book ‘Think & Grow Rich‘
Danielle LaPorte’s book ‘The Desire Map‘
Download my latest complimentary offering for women…The Erotic Woman’s Guide to Deeper Pleasure, More Orgasms & Getting What She Wants HERE. This is a playbook devoted to teaching you how to magnetize, manifest and receive whatever you desire through the power of your pleasure, sexual energy and orgasm.
You can also read the podcast episode here:
Today’s episode is all about the power of a woman’s desire and how your erotic nature, sexual energy, pleasure and orgasm tie in with your desire and your ability to have what you want. I’ll be sharing a few exercises you can try to begin unearthing your desires and start to feel actual sexual desire thrumming through you, which also helps you manifest what you want.
I’ll share more about that as we get into the episode though!
Let’s first define the word DESIRE itself, because sometimes it has a bad reputation, especially for women. Desire is a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen.
If you’ve ever read The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte you might already know how important desire is for women, especially knowing how we want to FEEL.
A woman’s desire is a deep yearning for what she really wants. But something even more magical happens when you take a woman’s natural yearning for what she wants, her desire, and combine it with her pleasure, sexual energy and orgasm.
Her life shifts. And I mean it really shifts. Powerfully. And not just one area of her body or life. Everything changes. When a woman wakes up to her desire, both as a feeling of desire (as in sexual desire or the drive to be sexual) and desire as an actual wanting of something, she can no longer settle for living a life that is not absolutely orgasmic.
She can’t settle in her relationships.
Or in how she cares for her body.
She can’t settle in what she spends her day doing.
Or how she feels when she’s moving through her day.
She can’t settle when it comes to her sexuality either or when it comes to getting what she wants.
Why do women struggle so much when it comes to desire, whether it’s knowing what they want or actually having what they want?
A lot of women feel that being desirous or wanting something is selfish, bad or greedy. We may have been conditioned as little girls to not take too much, ask for too much or want more than our allotted share. Not to mention how often our dreams and desires are squashed by our parents or authority figures. Have you ever been told that you’re living in a dream or that your head is in the clouds?
I certainly have. I’ve been called high maintenance, extravagant, too indulgent, selfish or ungrateful for wanting more in my life.
A lot of women struggle with thinking that their desire and appetites are not acceptable. This is why binge drinking, eating disorders and shopping addictions are so common in women. We’ve been conditioned to suppress our desire and to think that there is something wrong with our appetite, and I mean this as in our hunger for food and life.
If you’ve ever been told not to eat too much, that you couldn’t have more than one cookie or to share your food when you were little then this may translate to having a distorted appetite. And that translates to our appetite for our desires.
Take a look at your relationship with appetite and hunger for food and desire and see if you can pinpoint any hang ups in your appetite. Sometimes we have hyperactive appetites and overindulge in things that aren’t good for us and sometimes we are hypoactive and suppress, deny or starve ourselves, depriving ourselves of what we crave. And again, this isn’t just limited to food.
This is such a sadly common misconception about women and our desire.
It’s also common for women to think that their desires are impossible, selfish or never going to happen in a million years. These beliefs generally stem from those childhood situations of being told that we’re only allowed to have a certain amount of something or that it’s best to not ask for more or even want more.
Or we think that because another woman has what we want that we can’t have it too. The universe is abundant and there’s more than enough to go around. When you notice yourself becoming envious or jealous of another woman, or anyone in general, follow it curiously and see what she may have that you feel you don’t.
What qualities or traits does she possess? Chances are if you notice them in her, it’s because she’s a mirror for what’s inside of you. She’s showing you what’s inside of you and it’s up to you to honor that and bring it out more in yourself.
See her as a muse and inspiration, not an enemy. If she has something you want like easily flowing money, an amazing job, traveling all over the world or a deep, sexy relationship, then know it’s possible for you too. Your jealousy leads you right to your desire and deepest yearnings so don’t see jealousy as a threat. See it as a roadmap to your desire.
I also know that a lot of women struggle with feeling worthy of their desires, whether the desire is for great sex, deep love with an amazing partner, more money or the career of their dreams.
As for the self-worth thing, there’s deep work that can be done, but allow me to share something enlightening with you and you can see what it brings up for you and do your own inner work to keep owning your full power and worth as an erotic woman. You can also reach out to me if you feel you need private coaching around this, because it’s been a huge part of my own erotic path.
You are worthy simply because you exist. Contrary to popular belief in this society, worth is not something that is earned or lost. It’s an inherent state that you are naturally born into and remain in through your whole life, regardless of what happens inside or around you. You are worthy and so is every other person on this planet simply because.
I know that might be a hard pill for you to swallow so don’t beat yourself up. Women haven’t been taught that their desires are acceptable, natural and perfect for them. Each desire a woman has is the perfect amount for the container that she is as a body, heart, mind and soul.
A lot of women think that their desires are too big, extravagant or impossible. Like that’s neverrr going to happen. Have you ever found yourself desiring something pretty big like your own private island or to speak passionately in front of thousands of people and then immediately shut it down?
I’ve so been there. I have huge dreams and desires inside of this small body of mine, but each day I’m working towards allowing them to unfold. Your desires are not too big for you, otherwise you simply wouldn’t have them. Does this mean every desire you have has to be realized? Not at all. Unless you really want to go after it or allow yourself to have it.
Some of them stay around for a short period of time and some desires are deeper and seem to be more ancient. Maybe it’s a desire you’ve had since you were a little girl. Well, now you’re a capable and erotic woman. Your desires are practically begging you to let them manifest.
One of my favorite books Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill has two particular chapters in it that I love to read over and over again. The first chapter is on Desire and it’s potency in allowing us to have what we want. The second chapter I adore is on the mystery of sex transmutation. I want to share two excerpts with you.
I want to share two excerpts with you.
The first one is from Chapter 11, page 205…
The meaning of the word “transmute” is, in simple language, “the changing or transferring of one element, or form of energy, into another.”
The emotion of sex brings into a state of mind.
Then…
The emotion of sex has behind it the possibility of three constructive potentialities:
- The perpetuation of humankind. (This is usually what we see sex as biologically speaking, for reproduction reasons).
- The maintenance of health (as a therapeutic agency it has no equal).
- The transformation of mediocrity into genius through transmutation.
The second one is on page 208 The 10 Mind Stimuli…
The human mind responds to stimuli through which it may be “keyed up” to high rates of vibration, known as enthusiasm, creative imagination, intense desire, etc. The stimuli to which the mind responds most freely are:
- The desire for sex expression (#1 on the list of 10).
So yes, sexual desire helps you with your life’s desires. The more turned on, filled with pleasure and sexual energy and orgasmic you are, the more powerful your desires become and the more likely it is that they’ll manifest.
So here are some things you can start to do to unearth your desires and start getting what you want:
- Make a desire list. Write down 50 things you want. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a piece of chocolate, a massage or to buy your own house and pay in cash. It can be little or small, but try to keep it mostly focused on YOU and not desires that always lead to you giving to others. Those are fine and definitely honorable, but your desire is for YOU. If you find this hard to do, consider buying a small journal devoted to your desire list and every time you’re out and about and you notice a sense of longing for something, write it down.
- Lust after what you want, no excuses. Want what you want with your whole body, heart and soul. There’s a reason you want your desire and even if others think it’s selfish, it doesn’t matter, because if it makes you a better woman, then it’s perfect for you.
- Revel in your desire. Use your lust (as in that erotic, desirous feeling thrumming through you as you think about what you want), pleasure and sexual energy to fully drop into the deliciousness of your desire. Touch the clothing. Try on the lingerie. Ride in the car. Hold someone else’s baby.
- Meditate on your desire and bring your pleasure, turn on and sexual energy into it. Think about your desire like it’s a luscious lover or decadent piece of chocolate. Lick your lips. Rub your body down. Touch your yoni. Self-pleasure. Dance seductively. Breathe into your sexual energy. Moan. Laugh. Circle your hips. Get yourself totally turned on by the idea of your desire and bring the feelings into your body now.
- Orgasm to get what you want. If you want more on this, you can download my latest free offering The Erotic Woman’s Guide to Deeper Pleasure, More Orgasms & Getting What She Wants. This is a playbook devoted to teaching you how to magnetize, manifest and receive whatever you desire through the power of your pleasure, sexual energy and orgasm.You can also watch my video from earlier this week Orgasm Your Way to Getting What you Want. There’s so many reasons why orgasms help us get what we want that I share in this video, but one pretty big thing to mention is that the lateral orbitofrontal cortex behind the left eye (the part of the brain responsible for reason and behavior) goes completely dark, which means we lose attachment to our ego, disbelief, behavioral habits and judgement which then means that we can get lost fully in our desire and surrender to it. Plus the surge of pleasure and hormones associates our desire with even more good feelings.
Now that you understand the power of a woman’s desire, your desire, and how you can start to tap fully into it while getting TURNED ON to them, I’d love to have you comment below and share one of your desires with me in the comments.
I’ll share two of mine with you here. I’ll share a big desire and a little desire. So my little desire is to drink a dark, vanilla infused beer out under the stars in the fall wrapped in a cozy sweater. My big desire is to write an erotic book, kind of a guide to women’s erotic pleasure, sexual energy and orgasm, preferably written in Bali.
I’m considering those both done, because that’s the power of a woman’s desire–my desire–and you should do the same with your desires.
Before you go, I’d love to ask that you share this episode with the women in your life who may need a little desirous inspiration. This information transformed my life and I want it in the hands, minds, hearts and souls of as many women as possible.
Thank you so much for being here. I’m truly grateful for you. Have a beautiful day and now go play with your desires!
xx
Amber
P.S. If you like, download The Erotic Woman’s Guide to Deeper Pleasure, More Orgasms & Getting What She Wants HERE.