What is Your Sexual Identity?

Have you ever thought about what forms your sexual identity–the way you carry yourself sexually along with how you view, feel and think about sexuality? 

I like to think that everyone’s sexual identity is comprised of two parts (or two energies, if you like). I call these two energies your Highest Self Sexuality and your Ego Self Sexuality.

What is Highest Self Sexuality?

Your Highest Self Sexuality is the part of your sexual identity that you are naturally born with as a soul–or perhaps even when you’re in the womb or wayyyy before that if you believe in your soul being infinite–which I personally do.

You are both born FROM erotic, sexual energy (as in your parents’ seed of life via egg and sperm PLUS their shared sexual energies) and WITH it inside of you (because you have your own seed of life and energy inside of you ALWAYS). 

When you’re born you are wholly pure and innocent. As a soul you are grounded fully in your divinity and the holiness of your Self as a human being, divine being, and as a soul. You are tapped into your erotic nature and sexual energy (which is part of your sexual identity) innately as a baby. 

You haven’t been conditioned, corrupted, or influenced about your sexual behaviors, beliefs, or desires. It’s the side of your sexual identity that is innate, innocent, pure, whole, holy, and divine. 

What is your Ego Self Sexuality? 

Your Ego Self Sexuality is the part of your sexual identity that is formed, molded, and influenced as you are navigating your way through life as an adolescent and becoming conditioned by others, your environment, and sexual scenarios you engage in (whether they have a positive or negative impact). 

Essentially your ego, which tries to protect you and keep you small and safe, is part of the forming of this side of your sexual identity. Most of the time your Ego Self Sexuality overpowers your Highest Self Sexuality because the ego tends to feed off of the power of your truth and holiness as a human and divine being.

Regardless of whether you are talking about sexuality, living your purpose, or being in love, the ego tends to reign over our Highest Self/soul–the inner Goddess, Priestess, Queen, whatever you want to call her–UNLESS you choose to actively and consciously change that.  

I’m going to share a snippet of a really powerful exercise that I usually go through with the women who are my private clients when we begin working together to break down her own sexual identity. 

I call it the Sexual Identity Exercise and it will really help you understand what the authentic, true, sacred, and holy version of your sexuality is. The version of your sexuality that is TRUE and REAL, because it is YOU at your core essence, not what you’ve been conditioned by society to believe is true. Not because of the trauma/pain/shame you’ve experienced, but from a space of divine love and oneness with All That Is (whatever that means for you!). 

Sexual Identity Exercise

Here’s what you do. Grab a journal and pen or even your computer so you can break this exercise down.

Make sure you have safe, sacred space and privacy so you can dive deep into who you are as an erotic, sexual woman and being.

You can even light some candles, put on some lingerie, and sip on a cup of warm herbal tea. Whatever makes you feel safe, sensual, and cozy.

Then, open a fresh page in your journal or a document on your computer and write at the top ‘Ego Self Sexuality’.

Now, set a timer for 10-15 minutes and begin with feeling into your sexuality as a woman. Don’t limit or judge yourself as thoughts, beliefs, patterns, or stories come up.

Feel into your Ego Self Sexuality and just write down everything that comes up about what you believe about sexuality. You can write this question at the top under Ego Self Sexuality: What do I believe about my sexuality or sexuality in general? 

Here are a few examples of Ego Self Sexuality: 

‘It is not safe to be sexual.’

‘I’m a slut because I had sex with x # of guys.’

‘Sex is dirty, bad, and evil.’

The statements can be about your own sexuality or even others. It doesn’t matter. You just want to get all of your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about sexuality down onto paper. Remember to be kind, compassionate, and forgiving towards yourself and don’t run away with the stories of each thought that comes up.

Don’t rehash the past. Just write down the core belief or thought and move on to the next. When you feel complete or the timer goes off, review what you’ve written and FEEL into how your body responds as you read them. 

Now it’s time to move on to the Highest Self Sexuality. Start on a fresh, clean page in your journal or computer document and write ‘Highest Self Sexuality’ at the top. Then ask yourself the question, ‘What do I believe is true about my sexuality from a pure, holy, and divine standpoint?’ 

Set your timer for another 10-15 minutes and actually feel into your Highest Self. Imagine feeling and envisioning yourself transmuting and transforming into her. Is she a Queen? A Goddess? A Priestess? A Lover and Beloved? Feel into her beauty, erotic power, and sensuality as much as you can where you are right now.

Then, write down all that you believe is true about your sexuality from the viewpoint of your Highest Self. When you feel complete or the timer goes off, reread all of it and even reading it out loud can be super helpful. 

Examples of Highest Self Sexuality:

‘My sexuality is divine, pure, and holy.’

‘Sex is a sacred act of love and oneness.’

‘I am safe to be sexual.’

Once you’re done, look over each page/document and see if you can notice which one has more to it. Do you have more Ego Self Sexuality beliefs? Or Highest Self Sexuality beliefs? 

Make sure you’re looking at this from a gentle, compassionate, and judgement free space. Be curious and playful about it. 

Even though you may potentially find the Ego Sexuality Self has more beliefs, it’s a good sign. Bringing awareness to these beliefs is powerful and will help you figure out how you can perform sacred Alchemy and transmute them into truth, aka your Highest Self Sexuality. 

Something I recommend is crossing off the Ego Self Sexuality beliefs, ripping the paper into pieces, and burning it away. Imagine the fire purifying you and allowing you to release what no longer serves (the ego beliefs) and transmuting into glittering gold stardust or liquid love–like a sacred, erotic elixir–and showering down onto you as your Highest Self Sexuality and truth. 

If you used your computer, you can print the beliefs out and burn them away or simply delete the document. I have to say, doing this on paper is much more potent and effective so I totally recommend doing that when you can!

This is a great exercise to bring awareness around your beliefs so you can focus on what is true–which in reality, is your Highest Self Sexuality because it’s based on purity and erotic holiness. 

If you want to go a step further and get support around your beliefs and transforming them through deep diving into your body, heart, and soul as a sensual, erotic being, I invite you to apply for private coaching with me. I love supporting women in connecting back to and awakening the sensual, erotic woman within through breathwork, coaching, rituals, embodiment practices, and more! 

I’m offering $500 off my new 3-month private coaching program Sensual & Erotic Woman Initiation until the end of June PLUS other bonuses!

I you sign up for either coaching program (my3-month or 6-month), you receive:

• 3 HOUR VIP EROTIC WOMAN INTENSIVE
• FREE ACCESS to my online salon The Sensually Awakened & Embodied Woman Experience($97 value)
• FREE COPY of my Embodied Pleasure Playbook & Guided Meditation ($17)
• PLUS I always give my private clients tons of helpful resources, goodies, and gifts because I understand healing sexually and sensually can open up a lot for us…which means we need tools to support us. 

CLICK HERE to apply for a 45-minute complimentary Erotic Woman Consultation so we can see if playing and working together is an option for us! 

I’d love for you to drop me a comment below and let me know if you’ve ever done an exercise around your sexuality before. What did you find is TRUE for you as a sensual, erotic AND sexual woman?

xx

Amber

Want to harness your erotic power once you’re identified your sexual beliefs? Join the jade egg revolution by downloading my free jade egg ebook ‘Awaken Your Erotic Power Using a Jade Egg.’