When I think about a woman’s true sexual response and arousal state I think of how open and inviting we can be.
Like an aromatic flower in the summertime, our fragrance attracting bees and hummingbirds that flock to our soft petals and sweet nectar.
In the dance of sex, it’s actually women who call the shots. It’s the woman’s sexual energy and state of openness that determines whether sex of any kind, especially penetrative, will take place.
When she is wet and juicy. Engorged and ready. When her pussy is soft, open, wet and desirous for more.
If a woman is turned off, closed down or not properly engorged and aroused sexually, then the dance of sex must shift or come to a halt.
Sadly, this is not how things are typically played out in the bedroom these days.
Most women experience sex from a male or penis-focused perspective. One that is driven by the man’s need to hurriedly stick it in and pump away until he ejaculates.
Instead of the woman inviting the other person inside of her when she’s fully ready–in fact, begging for it–it’s usually the man who determines when he’s ready to sink his cock into her soft flesh.
Which in this case, the pussy may not even be soft or open at all or not enough to be truly fulfilling and pleasurable for her. She may not even be wet or engorged at all.
She may actually feel like the absolute opposite of that. I know that’s how I’ve often felt in those situations where I wasn’t open and ready for penetration when it happened. Yet I was so conditioned (and so were my male partners) to keep doing penetration the same way.
In this case, she may actually feel like she has tension, contraction, hardness and numbness in her vagina so when penetration does happen (and it usually happens before she’s ready), it can make sex feel numb or painful.
She closes down further. She retracts. Her g-spot hardens to protect itself and her cervix recoils to prevent premature bumping, which can be painful.
Now, this isn’t to blame men or those with cocks. It’s also not to blame women. No one has been taught about the full spectrum of their arousal and most of us have never experienced the dance of sex being an invitation of opening on the woman’s part.
This is your most holy, sensitive, yet powerful and potentially pleasurable and orgasmic region of your body. It’s your sacred temple. Yet many of us feel pressured by our conditioning to have sex in a way that doesn’t feel honoring or fulfilling.
These experiences can lead to armoring in the body. The energetic body, emotional body, physical body and definitely in the vagina, which is what we’re discussing today.
The vaginal opening, g-spot and cervix tend to carry the most emotional, energetic and physical tension, which results in vaginal armoring.
This armoring is what makes sex feel painful, traumatic, uncomfortable or numb. It’s what causes a woman to preemptively expect pain and brace against it even before she’s been penetrated.
In this video I’m going to share more about vaginal armoring and teach you a sexual technique that you can use to unlock your g-spot for better, deeper and more fulfilling orgasms. This same technique can be used on the whole vagina, including the cervix, so that you can awaken your vagina to experience more sensation, lubrication, pleasure and orgasm.
It will also train you to to trust your pussy (and your pussy to trust you) while allowing you to embrace the dance of sex, whether penetration is involved or not. Through this technique you’ll learn how to invite in and open for yourself and your partner–when you’re well and ready.
If you want to learn more about using the jade egg for vaginal de-armoring or beginning a practice for sexual healing and awakening, begin by downloading my ebook, 7 Jade Egg Secrets for Deeper Vaginal Pleasure & Orgasms.
I have practices in this ebook designed to help awaken your sexual energy and open your body for deeper healing, pleasure and sexual fulfillment. You’ll find breast massage, breathing exercises and jade egg practices.
For the obsidian wand used for de-armoring, I love the Shadow Line from Chakrubs.
You can also purchase a jade egg from my shop!
I would love for you to share this video with any woman (or your lover!) in your life to spread the sexual healing love! You can subscribe to my YouTube channel here to stay updated with my weekly video.
You can also come play with me on Instagram or join my private Facebook group for women only.
With love,
Amber
If the numb spot happens to be the entrance and it doesnt respond to that technique should I be envisioning it become more responsive or is there another way to encourage sensation at all?
Hi Corrine,
Something I recommend for many of my clients to do (and I do it too still to this day) is to consistently connect with something at the vaginal opening. A good start can be to hold a wand, finger or jade egg at the vaginal opening for 10 minutes per day for 7 days minimum. The vaginal opening is the gateway between our ‘Yes’ and ‘No,’ which often has not been honored, even by ourselves.
The vaginal opening holds a lot of tension, numbness, fear and is the protectress of the vagina so holding something at her entrance and just breathing, relaxing and softening the muscles to the opening for that amount of time consistently will train your brain, nervous system and vaginal opening to feel safe. Then, over time you can insert it deeper as the numbness begins to dissolve.
You can also use your imagination to envision the numbness dissolving and the opening relaxing open, but holding something there can help with the body-mind connection. You can use a finger or tool to massage around it each day and when it needs de-armoring, you can combine that with the massage. I hope that helps!
xx
Amber