I have a tale of seduction to tell you. It’s not your ordinary tale of seduction though. Yet it’s probably the greatest seduction of my life. 

It changed me forever and turned me on to my full erotic power, emotional range and pussy. Settle in for a spell and allow me to tell you about the night I was seduced by a group of women under the Scorpio Full Moon…

(Me feeling like an absolute courtesan of eroticism and darkness after our intensive Mastery weekend focusing on honoring our darkness)

I’ll never forget the experience I had under the Scorpio Full Moon this past Saturday. It’s forever etched into my heart, my soul forever expanded because of it, my pussy forever filled with this seductive, healing moment.

Let me start at the beginning…

I was in NYC for the third time this year to attend the 2nd live intensive for Regena Thomashauer’s Mastery program (she wrote the book Pussy: A Reclamation).

We were learning how to explore, embody and move through our own darkness — our rage, grief, victimhood, etc. — using turn on as the fuel and sisterhood as the container for deep alchemy within.

We were learning how to tell our story from the perspective of a courtesan, a woman devoted to radiance, pleasure and pussy….rather than telling the same ‘woe is me’ tale of victimhood.

It was no doubt the most challenging thing I’ve encountered so far. It pushed my erotic edges in all of the right ways and beyond anything I could ever imagine, yet I still clung to my grief, and in doing so, a part of me was numb and stuck.

Even after screaming at the top of my lungs with rage wearing a black trash bag. Even after telling my story from a space of turn on while being witnessed by another woman. Even after trying to touch my grief…it remained. Locked up. Imprisoned by my own need to control.

I could feel this stuck grief in my womb. I could feel how it was holding me back in so many ways in my life. Blocking my creativity, sexuality, self-worth and more.

As I swamped around the other women (swamping is a tool she teaches in her book Pussy), trying to seduce my grief out….she wouldn’t come. I kept holding onto something…

My fear of feeling the full amount of pain and devastation…the absolute rupture of losing my father in November 2017. The pain still lurks like a shadow in the depths of my body and heart. 

A fracture and rupture so deep that I’ve been avoiding feeling ALL of it. 

I came into the weekend intensive with the expectation of dramatic transformation. I wanted it so bad, but I thought it had to be a certain way in order for me to feel transformed.

I had this belief that I had to be picked by Regena (aka Mama Gena) and go up onstage where she’d rip me apart like Kali with ecstatic love and turn on in order to feel a shift in my numbness. 

I thought I had to experience something so outrageous in order to finally unleash the deep well of grief that hid inside of me.

When our last class ended, I thought to myself “well, there goes your chance to feel and release your grief!”

I felt slightly disappointed with myself, but I decided to approve of my experience and trust that sometimes the deepest transformation is slow and takes its time…sometimes transformation melts into my soul over a period of days, weeks, months, years.

Not just while being held in the intense container of a white hot roaring fire.

I decided to trust that when my grief was ready, she’d move through me. She’d erupt like a volcano and flow down over my curves like hot lava.

That night I went to a penthouse rooftop party with some fellow women from Mastery (we’re called Sister Goddesses). It was the night of the Scorpio Full Moon and if you don’t know Scorpio, she’s a mysterious seductress of all that lies hidden, buried in the darkness, secret.

And I had no idea just what she had in store for me that night…

She will call the parts of you out from the shadows and shine her radiant light on the darkness that lies within.

That’s exactly what she did.

After spending a couple of hours dressing in sexy lingerie, decorating my breasts with golden glitter, sensually dancing, flirting and mutually seducing my fellow classmates and sisters, I found myself seated in a circle of women at the party.

I sat with the other women, feeling deeply TURNED ON from the whole day spent honoring, witnessing, flirting, dancing and playing with other women. 

We were having deep and meaningful conversations, practicing some of the Womanly Arts tools that we’ve been learning in Mastery and just generally connecting on a heart-soul-pussy level with one another.

Witnessing, seeing, holding one another in our radiance and turn on. 

It fed my soul in a way that I didn’t realize my soul was craving. My pussy turned on being surrounded by other turned on women. We were all seducing one another higher and higher into our radiance and pleasure.

I’ll keep some of the details from what lead to me finally unlocking my grief that night to myself, because I prefer to keep those moments sacred and intimately tucked away. 

I didn’t realize I was about to be seduced into my grief…a concept so foreign to me. But it’s exactly what happened. 

Essentially after being called out (with that Kali love) for hiding and holding onto something…I found myself on my hands and knees on the rooftop of the penthouse, howling and wailing at the full moon as a group of sisters surrounded me.

They held me in their love and presence.

On all fours, tears flowing out of my eyes, screaming, growling, howling, wailing, writhing, trembling, I felt my deepest buried secret — the pain, shame, guilt, devastation around my father’s death.

They let me access my darkness…and I mean my FULL darkness. The rage. The grief. The guilt. The abandonment. The absolute fucking devastation and rupture of losing him.

I cried hard, I tried to stand, knees weak and I let myself go there. Into all of what I was so terrified to feel. I was afraid to unleash the beast of my grief. Afraid to face the parts of me who feel things that I’ve never felt before until my father died.

And my sisters encouraged me to stay connected to my turn on. They encouraged me to breathe when I stopped. To move it through my body. To access MY truth, my pussy, my turn on as I purged the grief from my body.

Afterwards I felt like a newborn baby. Like I’d been reborn right there on that rooftop under the full moon. The serpent had shed part of her skin.

They held me like a baby, embracing me with pure love. I felt clear. I felt lighter. I felt seen and held more than I ever have before. I felt safe to be around other women in not only my turn on, but my emotions and darkness.

Under the light of the Scorpio Full Moon I allowed a group of women to seduce me into my grief and midwife me through my rebirth.

I’m obviously not done grieving…I never will be. But it doesn’t have to stay stuck in my womb and heart anymore. It’s not trapped. It can flow.

I have women who will seduce it out of me with love, turn on and witnessing. I know that my darkness, my emotions, my sexuality are ALL safe and welcome.

When we trap emotions in our body, especially the womb and pussy, we often tend to feel stuck and stagnant sexual energy as a result.

We might feel stuck or blocked financially, creatively and/or sexually when we feel blocked emotionally.

Once I was midwifed through my rupture, I was able to feel rapture. Radiance filling me up, sexual energy flowing, pussy wet and turned on, heart bursting with love and joy again.

If you’re feeling stuck emotionally, I invite you to put on some music that matches whatever emotion you know you’re harboring (you know it deep down, if you’re willing to be honest with yourself) and dance. Move your body.

Use touch, sound, breath and movement to move it through you. Scream, cry, wail, howl, cackle, moan, claw your hands, crawl across the floor, pound your fists, writhe, whatever you need to do. Move it through you. Feel your sexual energy unblocking and pouring through you like liquid turn on.

Let it out.

I’ll be right there beside you, howling, writhing, dancing, encouraging you to come back home to your sensuality, radiance and eroticism through it all.

It’s who I am. It’s who you are.

xx

Amber

P.S. Next week I’m going to be opening my online course ,Solo Sex Magic, where you’ll learn the ancient erotic art of using your sexual energy and orgasm to create, call in and magnetize whatever you desire to you with ease, pleasure and full pussy power. 

I can’t wait to share more with you…