I had the freakiest…yet most erotic…sex dream last night.

You’re probably going to be just as surprised and maybe even as weirded out as I was when I woke up.

By the way, I had literal multiple orgasms in this dream. When I woke up I was like “really?” And then I had to laugh at myself. My unconscious mind couldn’t have chosen a more freaky lover than…

Freddy Krueger. Yep. The claw handed nightmare killer from the very old (and super corny) Nightmare on Elm Street films. In a very ugly outfit, might I add?

No judgement though because my unconscious mind is using this dream to communicate something very important to me and while there are always tons of interpretations and layers to dream symbolism, there were a few key things that jumped out at me.

All of which I’ll share with you here because they are a core part of the work we’ll be doing in my 12-week program DEEPLY EROTIC. (By the way, early bird pricing of $200 off ends at Midnight on November 19th. You can lock in the price of $497 or the two part payment plan if you join before it ends. Join us here!)

Here’s some of what I learned about my eroticism from this freaky sex dream!

It was taboo. I remember “me” in the dream thinking “why the fuck am I getting off on this and having sex with him?” He’s gross. He’s ugly. His face is like melting off and don’t forget about that scary claw hand thing…yikes.

Not exactly the sexiest lover, but it was the taboo aspect that made it so arousing. He’s very taboo…forbidden. Who wants to admit that they love to fuck monsters?

Yet it’s also a symbol for how we need to literally make love to, fuck and get off on our deepest darkest sexual shadows (your inner demons/monsters/freaky parts/weird parts), our deepest erotic desires (yes, even the super taboo ones that we really wouldn’t want anyone else to know about).

He represents all of the deep, dark parts of myself that I don’t accept. I was literally making love to a monster/demon/freaky character/whatever you want to label him as. He’s actually a killer. That’s pretty deep and dark…and I was having sex with him and having actual multiple orgasms.

If that’s not the most erotic form of unconditional self love you’ve ever seen, then I don’t know what is.

Ritual for you to make love to your own darkness:

What are all of those parts of yourself that you feel make you unlovable? Unworthy? Bad? Wrong? Guilty? Deeply ashamed? Dirty? Fucked up?

Write them down right now. Write down the parts that feel that way or the reasons why you think you’re unlovable — just get it out on paper. Look at it and really be with it. It’s going to be confronting and uncomfortable.

Next time you have sex or self pleasure can you imagine metaphorically and/or literally making love to and getting off on these parts of yourself? Welcoming them back home to be unconditionally loved using your erotic energy?

The next thing…

He could kill me at any moment. During the dream, “dream me” kept remembering who she was having sex with and realizing that he could kill me at any moment. His little claw hand was nearby.

The symbolism here was one that slowly revealed itself to me as I sat with the dream this morning. Sex is a place where we go to die.

A part of you dies every time you have sex where you can show up and be who you truly are. A mask drops off. A part of your shame withers away. A wall crumbles. Your identity of who you thought you were is killed by your lover — even if that lover is just you.

Intimacy, erotic connection, sex — it unconsciously makes us uneasy because we know that true intimacy and being seen and fucked for who we are at our erotic core is how we kill parts of ourselves that don’t serve us anymore.

There are many little deaths that happen with sex, intimacy and orgasm. Why do you think the French term for orgasm la petite morte translates to the little death?

It really is a place to go and kill or be killed…to die and be reborn as the real you. The masks are killed. The walls are torn down. The ego has a little death each time you come or show up as yourself or you make love to the parts of you that you fear, hate, are repulsed by, deny, repress, hide, shame, etc.

That brings me to another point — the repulsion/attraction dynamic.

We’ll be working with the law of duality (which says that in time everything turns into its opposite) and polarities in DEEPLY EROTIC a lot, because being able to embody and integrate opposites is how you become one with yourself, your lover and the divine (or whatever that means for you).

Polarities are anything that our ego identifies with to basically say “this is who/what I am and this is who/what I am not.”

I also explore the polarities between fear/desire and attraction/repulsion a LOT.

Because your conscious mind will usually say one thing and your unconscious mind embodies the opposite polarity.

So using this example of having sex with Freddy Krueger…

My conscious mind FEARS him and is REPULSED by him…can you blame me?

Yet, unconsciously I DESIRE and am ATTRACTED to him. Look at all of the things he represents for me sexually, which I’ve shared here. The owning of my darkness…the taboo…the killing off what blocks me from being intimate with the real, raw me and showing that to my lover…on and on.

This kind of makes me think about how I used to always get so turned on during scary things like going to a haunted house, walking in the dark at night or watching scary movies with a boyfriend. When we’re terrified we become aroused.

Fear and desire go hand in hand erotically. Maybe that’s just a biological survival mechanism of “Oh shit! Are we about to die? Let’s procreate!” and/or maybe it’s deeper than that.

For the next few days consider that an erotic edge to explore could be: what you are attracted to you are equally repulsed by and vice versa. AND what you desire you equally fear and vice versa.

This is my final note of symbolism from this freaky sex dream and it’s the most personal one: I grew up on these movies and as a young child watching a movie about someone who kills you in your sleep terrified me.

I used to have nightmares constantly about him and other killers, even to this day sometimes. This is a direct link to my innocence and since he’s taking on the role of lover in this dream — my erotic innocence.

Making love to him in this dream was a way of reclaiming a part of my erotic innocence and bringing her back to the original wholeness that was and has always been her birthright.

In short, I have always been whole. My ego just told me that parts of me fragmented and I’ve lived in the polarities of my eroticism and my innocence being separate, when it’s not actually true.

That’s quite a lot to gain from a dream that you might just write off as fucked up, weird, creepy even or yes, just a freaky sex dream.

Back in the day I’d totally repress a dream like this. But now I know that my dreams are a form of how my unconscious communicates with me…my sexual unconscious just gave me a whole lot of permission to LOVE myself and let my shame die away a little bit more…layer by layer.

In DEEPLY EROTIC, we’ll begin the program by reclaiming your erotic innocence and we’ll also explore erotic dreamwork in case you do want to play with analyzing sex dreams (or any dream), but the lesson I’m most excited about is lesson 3.

UNLOCKING & EMBRACING YOUR SEXUAL SHADOWS, INNERMOST TABOO FANTASIES & DEEPEST EROTIC DESIRES

We’ll be exploring:

• How to work with any sexual shame or resistance you feel around connecting to your eroticism so that you can get the results you desire in your erotic life
• What sexual shadow work and integration is and how you can learn to love ALL parts of yourself using my self role-play method
• Exploring why the taboo is so arousing AND simultaneously repulsive when it comes to your deepest erotic desires and darkest fantasies
• Using your sexual shadow archetype to integrate your sexual shadows, let go of shame around what turns you on and get off on your erotic fantasies and taboos
• How to share the deepest, darkest parts of your eroticism with your partner without freaking them out or worrying about rejection
• An erotic fantasy body response meditation to figure out what really turns you on, how your body responds and how you can learn to approve of it, get off on it and confidently share it with your lover
• Going deep into the vagina as the sexual unconscious.
• Using self pleasure, erotic ritual and sex as a form of meeting your shadows, fucking and loving your way back to wholeness
• How to Use an Obsidian Crystal Dildo For Sexual Shadow Work & Integrating Your Deepest Erotic Desires (we’ll go extra deep in the bonus module too)
• Guided audio shadow integration ritual to make love to your shadows

I hope that you’ll join us for DEEPLY EROTIC a 12-week group coaching program on how to shed sexual shame, embrace your sexual shadows, unlock your deepest erotic desires and connect back to your true erotic nature, power & pleasure.

We begin December 3rd 2019.

Remember that early bird pricing ends at Midnight on November 19th. The price goes up $200 (to $697 or two payment of $377) after that.

​Join us here!

x

Amber

P.S. I totally forgot to explore how I had actual multiple orgasms (deep in my vagina) during my sleep as I dreamed this. I felt them. They were real.

This shows you how your brain/mind is where eroticism begins. We go deeeeep into the erotic psyche plus how erotic your heart, soul, energy AND body are in DEEPLY ER0TIC. Get in on it here.

P.P.S. But this is a nice photo of him, right? hahaha 😂😂😂

P.P.P.S. I totally questioned for a moment whether I should share this whole thing with you…like is it too much/dark/twisted/weird?

Then, I remembered that I’m on a mission to help YOU shed shame and make love to your shadows and I’m here to do the same for myself.

We can only liberate our erotic energy (which is creative energy for us to create the change in our lives and the world that we need) if we stop shaming, judging, hiding and rejecting ourselves.

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