As women, how do we open fully and deeply to love and pleasure when all we want to do is to sink into closure?
I wanted to share my experience with opening to love and pleasure in the face of closure with you today.
I also have an openness meditation for you so you can open to love and pleasure, even in the face of closure.
I’ve been making it a daily practice to open when all I want to do is curl up into closure. We can experience this in any area of life, but I find that most women experience closure the most when it comes to love, pleasure and sex. This is definitely my experience.
Let me get really honest.
Sometimes love simply feels like too much. Sometimes pleasure feels like too much. I find myself, in these moments, conditioned to close up. To contract, push away or tense up.
This is usually what happens (until I begin to soften and open consciously and actively):
I experience closure of my heart — protecting my raw, beating heart that loves so fully and deeply. Especially the love flowing between myself and my lover.
The fullness and depth of love can be alarming for me — I didn’t grow up seeing or feeling this kind of love.
Followed with closure of my belly — tensing up my solar plexus like a hard, pulsing and throbbing knot. I tense and cover my womb with my arms and hide all of her sensuality, power and creativity. Keeping her safely tucked away from harm.
My mind is whirling…
What if it’s all too much for him to handle?
What if my sexual energy, pleasure and erotic radiance are too much and he just doesn’t know how to receive it?
What if my wild emotions, beauty and orgasmic bliss are a force too strong for him to hold space for?
And closure of my pussy — tensing up my cervix and vaginal opening (both are linked with the Taoist reflexology point of the heart organ).
My legs become tight. My jaw tight. My throat tight. Everything feels tight and tense. My brow furrowed, my radiance temporarily strangled.
Nothing could pry these legs or this heart open…or so it seems…
It’s moments like this — when I’m feeling sensitive, vulnerable and feeling the love flowing — that I’m most likely to turn away from him.
When I feel rejected or unwanted in any way. Even if it’s just an old pattern surfacing from childhood or a past lover.
When I want him to see and feel me so deeply, but I’m too afraid to ask for it or even see and feel myself that deeply.
My body immediately goes into protective closure.
My breath becomes shallow. I want so badly…crave so badly…to turn around and reveal my wounded, beating heart to him. To feel his hand on my heart, breathing in the fullness and depth of my love for him.
To look into his eyes and be seen. Fully. Completely.
To breathe in and out of my soft, open mouth, heart and belly. To soften and let go.
To breathe his cock energy into my pussy, relaxing her. To breathe all of him into all of me.
But sometimes…the closure is so great that I just can’t. So I stay facing away from him or I shut down sexually, breathing deeply into my heart, belly and cervix.
In this space, I soften. Open. I forgive myself.
And when I’m ready, I roll over and let myself melt into him.
Have you experienced this before? The feeling of your body literally closing and tensing.
The tense hold on your jaw, throat, heart, belly and pussy. The contracted heart that feels full of hurt and pain, yet numb and disconnected all at once.
This happens a lot for women. Our jaws, bellies and pussies hold so much tension and closure.
The pain in your cervix or g-spot that makes you want to cry and push your lover away.
The unwavering love you feel so fully that scares you, because how can you possibly love so much??
When something or someone makes you experience closure, how do you actually open yourself?
How do you soften, open and expand your openness to O P E N beyond the feelings and sensations of contraction and closure? Of pain, tension and numbness?
That’s what I’m exploring deeply over here. I created a guided meditation for you so you can open your heart, belly and pussy to the love and pleasure you so desire and deserve — with yourself and another/others.
You can access the Open to Love & Pleasure in the Face of Closure guided meditation below. You can even download it and save it to your smartphone, tablet/ipad or laptop.
Subscribe on: | iTunes | Stitcher |Libsyn|
Want to stay in touch?
You can download a free copy of my Jade Egg Sexual Mastery ebook if you want to learn the secrets of the sexual practice that will help you awaken vaginal pleasure, deep orgasms and more!
xx
Amber