I have to be honest with you — ever since I gave birth to Scarlet last September I haven’t been as connected to my breasts.

I haven’t been giving my breasts as much love, attention or even breast massages in the past 10 months.

Yes, even as someone who devotes her life’s work AND personal practice to sexual awakening, sensuality and honoring the erotic body temple, I sometimes stop practicing what I teach.

I’ve realized recently that my breasts have started to shut down.

They have felt lifeless, sad and unloved.

Ignored and their sacredness forgotten.

My boyfriend even commented one day before I went back to NYC a month ago that my breasts looked sad.

He was right.

I went to NYC that weekend and my girlfriends adored and worshiped my breasts. More importantly, I adored and worshiped my breasts.

We had a whole module taught by Mama Gena that weekend on breasts and their power, pleasure, radiance and orgasmic potential.

My sisters and I adorned my breasts with glitter and fake tattoos and I spent the whole weekend receiving praise about the fullness of my breasts.

When I got back home and settled into my routine of disconnecting from them — which I’ll get to why I think that happened in a minute — my breasts began to hang low and feel empty, disconnected and sad again.

Like they were grieving. Which makes sense as breasts are an extension of the heart and our emotions.

Why have I disconnected from my breasts? Especially when they’ve always been such a source of sexual energy and orgasmic pleasure for me…

Here are a few reasons:

• Constant nursing and pumping
• Everytime I did my breast massage or massaged my nipples, especially right after giving birth, it would stimulate a letdown reflex and milk would come spraying out
• With constant all day, and sometimes all night if she’s going through a growth spurt, nursing…my breasts take quite a beating at times and feel ‘touched out’ from constantly being suckled, pinched, twisted, scratched, pulled at, etc. (And now that she’s getting older she will literally grab my nipples and try to pull them towards her. EEK!)
• The tingle of let down doesn’t necessarily feel painful — it’s just strange and I knew the milk was coming and I didn’t want the ‘mess’ so stroking my breasts just became something I avoided — in my personal sexual self care practice, during self pleasure and sex with my partner, which is sad because of how much pleasure they usually bring me
• This is the strangest for me as someone who does SO much work to untangle my own sexual shame, but I actually do enjoy nursing. It feels very pleasurable, sensual and arousing for me, but let me be clear — it’s not about feeling sexual towards my baby. The nipples have neural pathways that feed straight into the clitoris, vagina and cervix. So when you stimulate the nipples, the regions of your brain light up as if you were stimulating the clitoris, g-spot AND cervix. At times, I’ve still felt weird about how good nursing has felt for me. Not all the time. Sometimes I’m touched out, sore, over it, overly stimulated or if she’s bitten or scratched my nipples or been nursing allll niiiiight looong, then the disconnection comes in

The interesting thing about not wanting to make a mess with my breast milk is that I’m also journeying through the 9-month online Eros course facilitated by Dancing Eros and we are currently journeying through wild woman archetype this month.

To me, wild woman represents the primal, erotic, earthiness of letting my bodily fluids flow freely — breast milk, vaginal lubrication, sweat, saliva, menstrual blood (I’m not bleeding at the moment, but you get the point)…

Here’s the thing. I’m human and on this journey too just as much as you are and I realize that I teach what I teach because it’s the exact medicine I need too. All the time.

So yesterday I gave myself a breast massage with coconut oil, loving up on my breasts. I apologized to them and asked for their forgiveness for my lack of care and erotic connection.

This morning I did a 20 minute breast massage, focusing on connecting my heart, breasts and cervix and made sure to worship them and tell my breasts what I love and find sexy about them.

I thanked them for being a source of nourishment and overflowing milk for Scarlet and for feeding me with their radiance, pleasure and sensuality.

I vowed to do my best to not shut down or disconnect, even when Scarlet is scratching them and pounding on them or I feel touched out.

I vowed to take care of my breasts, honor them, adore them, worship them and celebrate them as a source of nourishment AND erotic pleasure.

Sensuality, radiance AND activation.

This is exactly why I share, teach and offer the things I do. I am always learning, practicing, forgetting, remembering and re-devoting. Over and over again.

In the 7-Day Orgasmic Pleasure Challenge that I’m offering right now, we are focusing on bringing the breasts back to life today…so it’s no coincidence that this is coming up for me.

I’m also exploring alongside the womxn who are in this challenge. We’re currently on day 3 of the challenge, but I’d love to invite you to join us.

You can sign up here.

You’ll get instant access to days 1-3 when you sign up. It’s only available for a limited time (I think the next week or two) and I’d be honored to pass on this wisdom and journey with you.

It’s important that we connect back to our breasts, practicing forgiveness, thanking them, worshiping them, honoring them and their emotions, shut down, numbness, pain or any shame and trauma (even if you’ve had them removed or altered for any reason).

The energy of the breasts remain.

So I’m taking a dose of my own breast medicine today. I’m going to commit to massaging my breasts more regularly…instead of just once in a while.

If you want to go deep with your breasts and more, join the 7-Day Orgasmic Pleasure Challenge here. 

I love you.

xx

Amber

 

P.S. If, like me, your breasts need some extra love — even worship — then I’d love to invite you to join us here for the 7-Day Orgasmic Pleasure Challenge.

It’s completely free and we’ll be going really deep in this challenge.