Today I was triggered by another womxn on Instagram. I was looking at her profile and thinking to myself…”Wow. She really has it together. She’s so much better than me. She’s totally connected to her pussy.”

“She’s so seductive and sexy and doing her greatest work in the world.”

The dialogue itself isn’t as important as the fact that this internal dialogue was happening in the first place.

I was flogging myself internally…and not in a fun or erotic way.

I was comparing myself to her, assuming things about me vs her, putting myself into this “bad girl” box of thinking I was doing something wrong or wasn’t as good as her.

I do a lot of internal work to celebrate other womxn, including myself. And yet, I’m not immune to the social media comparison, metaphorical self flagellation and triggers that happen when I come across a radiant soul doing their thing in the world and owning their seductive, erotic power.

So here are a few erotic musings I want to share, including what I did to climb back into my own body (because honestly, it felt like I was outside of myself judging myself and thinking something was “wrong” with me in comparison to her) AND come back home to my own sensuality, erotic power and self seduction.

First…

This womxn is a mirror for me. Her sultry seduction was reflecting back something that ALREADY exists inside of me (and you, too). The only difference between her and I in terms of this? She was embodying and exuding it and I was momentarily repressing it.

I momentarily forgot how fucking sexy and seductive I am. By nature. I don’t need the lingerie, the makeup, the whatever, to be erotic and tap into my seductive powers (ethically speaking, of course).

All I need is to come home to my own body, my pleasure, sensuality and erotic power.

So that’s what I did. More on how I did this in a moment.

Second…

Moments like this when we’re triggered by another womxn are pivotal moments in time where we can choose to own and claim those parts of us and actually embody them for ourselves OR continue to repress, deny and reject it within ourselves and then project it onto said womxn.

I could have totally spiraled deeper and felt miserable for the rest of the day.

But I chose not to. I did something much more exhilerating, liberating and pleasurable.

Here’s what I did.

First, I looked at her pictures again really quick so I could locate the feelings and sensations coming up in my body…

I felt contraction in my pussy. My throat felt like it was blocked. My cheeks were hot and prickly. I felt slightly dizzy and disociated. My solar plexus was a knot.

I was even a tad nauseous.

Once I named those sensations, I began to do some erotic breathwork while lying down. I was breathing all of these sensations into and through my body, almost amplifying them as I was breathing, writhing on the couch, sounding out moans of pleasure and emotion and touching myself.

Now I know you might be thinking…”Wow, Amber. That’s a pretty strange thing to start doing at a time like this.”

But I assure you, while it might be strange, it’s also transformative.

Erotic energy moves emotions through you and can unblock things that are stuck. Which for me at the moment was my own erotic power and self seduction.

Erotic energy can transmute pain into pleasure, agony into ecstasy and resistance, fear, anxiety or other emotions into pure erotic power and bliss.

As I was doing the erotic breathwork, I was totally getting off on and approving of these sensations in my body AND the whole experience. I stopped making myself wrong for comparing myself, internally flogging myself, hiding my own eroticism and lack of self seduction.

I approved of and got off on every single bit of it. How is that for a story changer? It really shifts the narrative on an embodied and psychological, unconscious level.

(By the way, you can also do this if you ever get triggered by an unexptected bill in the mail, when your partner hurts your feelings or pisses you off or you feel stuck in comparison — anything that stirs up intense sensations, emotions and feelings).

Second…

I then moved into some self role play. This is something I’ll be teaching in depth in my upcoming course EROTIC, but I’ll give you a taste right now.

Self role play is exactly what it sounds like. It’s role playing with yourself. That’s right…you don’t need a partner to engage in some erotic role play.

How do you engage in self role play?

In this case, I realized the “role” or “archetype” that was coming through was my inner seductress. I asked her what she wanted and how she wanted to be dressed for this role.

My seductress wanted black lingerie and fishnet stockings. She’s a creature of habit, what can I say.

Then I turned on my Dark Erotic & Sultry Sensuality playlist on Spotify (get it here) and did some erotic dance as this archetype and “role”. I connected with myself in the mirror. I touched myself. I moaned. I crawled on the floor and let her move through me.

I seduced myself back home. I let my seductress guide me. I fcked her and let her fuck me back into my erotic power.

Here’s a photo I took while doing my role playing…

This is a powerful practice because it helps you figure out what roles you want to play, what archetypes want to come through and how you can play with your erotic energy by uncovering how your body responds to certain desires and fantasies.I actually give you a guided audio practice called the Erotic Fantasy Body Response Meditation in my free 4-part RECLAIMING YOUR EROTICISM VIDEO SERIES, which you can sign up for here.

You do this through fantasy and erotic seduction with yourself.

I invite you to check in with yourself…

• Have you felt triggered by someone recently?
• If so, what did you do to move through it?
• What might it be like to give the rituals I suggested above a try instead?

Video two for the reclaming your eroticism series is coming out on Monday, which is the New Moon in Scorpio. So it’s literally the most perfect day of the year (in my humble opinion) to dive into the depths of your eroticism, taboo desires, fantasies and sexual shadows.

Which is exactly what we’ll be doing in this video titled Embracing Your Deepest Erotic Desires & Sexual Shadows.

In this video you’ll learn…How to Unlock Your Deepest Erotic Desires, Explore Your Darkest Fantasies & Integrate Your Sexual shadows.

​Sign up here!

With erotic love,

Amber

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