Lately I’ve been doing a LOT of healing work to my womb. With that has come some tender healing moments, sobering realizations of ancient mother wounds still lingering and the continuous cycle of letting go of the genetic imprint of things that don’t even belong to me. 

A woman’s womb is her space of creation, gestation, cultivation and true power. The womb is a cauldron that performs alchemy over and over again.

On the most primal, basic level that means transmuting the union of the egg fertilized by the sperm into a growing embryo, eventually becoming a living, breathing baby to be birthed down and out through the vaginal canal and into the material world.

On an emotional level it means that we take in the emotions of ourselves (and even others) and alchemize them in our deepest center – our womb – turning the rich, fertile soil of darkness into a pool of warm, glowing light to be felt in every cell as we come alive.

We give our wombs sound – a voice. We speak her truth. We scream with rage for her. We cry with guttural sounds to express her wounds of abandonment, rejection, persecution and violation. We express moans in honor of her deep pleasure and powerful magnificence. 

We transmute rage, going a layer deeper to feel the sadness that exists beneath it. Then, we go a layers deeper and feel the disappointment, the hurt, the loss, the broken little girl we think exists inside of us, because others told us that was so.

We feel the blissful moments when our rage turns into ecstasy. Where we feel our sexual energy thrumming through us, blinding like white hot heat.

We heal our emotional wounds to become of true service so that we can express our true power, creativity, abundance and radiance. To birth the new world from a sensual, erotic and orgasmic space of deep trust, surrender and love. 

On a spiritual level it means that women can birth themselves. Or rather re-birth themselves. We birth creations, babies, relationships, abundance, works of art, moments of pleasure and yes, even ourselves. All through the power and energy of our womb. 

I knew I needed to write about the embodiment practice I did recently and share it with you so you can try it out for yourself – because it’s fucking potent. 

What initially lead me to this journey of ecstatic rebirth of myself in honor of healing some major mother wounds was the deep womb work I’d already been doing.

What I mean by ecstatic birth or rebirth is treating birth like a natural embodiment experience. Something that can be blissful, erotic and yes, filled with ecstasy and orgasm as we transform and birth down our creation of life, whether that’s metaphorical or literal life.

Something that INCLUDES orgasm and sexual energy in the entire process rather than excludes it. We are created from the sperm and egg, the sexual union of pleasure (not always, sadly)…so why should birth be a time of pain and fear? 

Often, birth is treated like a medical emergency instead of the powerful, deep expression of womb creation that it is. 

Anyways, I was tuning in and asking her what was underneath everything…what needed to be released? What needed to be stirred up from the dark, murky depths of my womb and alchemized into love, beauty, radiance and abundance?

Sipping on a cacao elixir, wrapped in a blanket and reading some articles online, I was thinking about how I’m so excited (and terrified) to re-launch my 9-week online jade egg course, Jade Egg Sexual Mastery, this coming week. 

I started to feel into this launch like it was an ecstatic, orgasmic birth. Really re-birthing myself, because this creation is something so close to my heart and soul. It feels vulnerable to put your work out there and hope others will want it and not only want it, but receive the value you put into it and experience deep transformation through the container of it. 

I began to feel into the beliefs and thoughts coming up around this experience of putting my work out there for others to invest in. The word burden came up for me and I knew what it was. An ancient mother wound. Feeling like I was a born burden to my mother.

I asked myself, why do I feel that I am not enough?

Why is my BEING not enough? 

Why do I feel like I have to work so hard? I felt some deep part of my old reptilian brain reply with things like having to work hard to prove that I’m lovable, worthy and not a useless burden. 

The feeling of being a burden to my mother is one I’ve sunk deep into this past year to heal. I don’t necessarily feel that way now as an adult 27-year old woman, but as I’m sure you know, a lot of the thoughts we think aren’t based on the present moment.

They’re based on the past, especially from childhood. Fears. Insecurities. Lack of love, nurturing and acceptance. We project our past experience into the present and stay stuck in the fear of being unloved. 

My body told me to feel deeper into my womb. I felt what it must have been like for my mother, who struggled with eating disorders, to be pregnant with me.

I felt the hot tears welling up and sliding down my cheeks as I felt into how her warped relationship with body image and nourishment may have deprived and starved me while in the womb….and even after I was born. 

I felt into how she may not have celebrated me because my cultivation in her womb caused her body to change in a way that her mind didn’t like. Not to mention the hysterectomy and back problems that came after. The burden of a child binding her to a life she didn’t seem to want. 

I have no idea if this is truly how she felt, but it felt true in my womb upon sinking deeper into what she needed me to know. I think it can be healing to discuss this with my mother and I most likely will, but even when we can’t have a conversation with our mothers, we can still heal. 

I knew intuitively after I felt the deep sadness of this awareness that I had to rebirth and mother myself the way I knew I needed to be.

Ecstatic, orgasmic. Beautiful, radiant, nourishing. An experience of celebration and miraculous magnificence (not burden). I needed to feel myself overflowing with unconditional love, nurturing and nourishment.

If you want to create your own Ecstatic Re-Birth Experience Ritual to heal your mother wounds, then use this as inspiration. Listen to your womb. What does SHE need?

Here’s the cycle I went through…

Conception –> Gestation —> Birth —> Nourishment & Nurturing after birth

CONCEPTION

Lying down comfortably, I put an eye mask over my eyes and swaddled myself in a cozy blanket. I began to breathe deeply with my hands over my womb. I programmed my jade egg with a healing intention and slowly seduced my pussy to open by swirling my jade egg around my vaginal opening.

When I felt ready, I sipped and pulsed the egg inside of my pussy. I let it slide in deeper by lifting my hips and pulling the egg in. 

Then, I imagined myself being created through the most loving, healing sexual union – the union and dance between Shiva (consciousness) and Shakti (life-force energy). God and Goddess. I didn’t envision my parents. I envisioned two souls coming together…the energy of Tantric love. 

I pulled my pelvic floor muscles and did some orgasmic breathing. Sounding out fully on each exhale and rubbing my body down sensually. Imagining myself being created in the most pleasurable, loving, orgasmic way. 

I pulsed the “sperm and egg” like two balls of swirling light, pulling them into my pussy, creating myself – a manifestation of the divine God and Goddess.

I imagined them coming together and passing through my cervix – the portal and gateway to divine creation. Life and death. Creation and destruction. The threshold for who I was becoming. 

GESTATION

I nurtured, gestated, cultivated myself in my womb, loving myself unconditionally, celebrating this growth in my womb. Knowing the magnificence of this creation in my belly. Gestating and prepping for the ecstatic birth of a divine being. 

I kept my hands on my womb and belly, filling my belly up with air as I inhaled each time. 

Feeling my belly swollen with golden light, my breasts beginning to fill with the nectar of milk that will nourish me in overflowing abundance upon birth.

Preparing for the birth to be ecstatic, orgasmic, sensual, erotic. A time of celebration and divine manifestation. Birthing from the void of fertile darkness.

I honored the way my body was shifting and changing to meet the needs of myself as I grew inside of my own womb. I said loving words into the developing fetus that is me. I rubbed my belly with love. I filled myself with light.

I breathed sexual energy into, through and around myself. 

I imagined myself in a beautiful blessing way supported by my sisters. My belly being adorned by henna, flowers and prayers of blessings and adoration. I saw my gestation as a celebration. Everyone couldn’t wait for my arrival. They couldn’t wait to see my radiance, beauty and love. 

ECSTATIC BIRTH

The next step was birthing myself out. I slowly began rocking my hips, writhing on the floor, pushing my pelvic floor muscles down gently…letting it feel blissful and pleasurable.

Birthing myself out in the most ecstatic, orgasmic way. Breathing out with pleasurable sound and moans of delight or the sound of primal, raw emotion and ecstasy, moving my hips, rubbing my breasts sensually as I imagined my baby – ME – coming out. Sliding down, pleasurably.

NOTE: you can even move to a goddess squatting position and if you have a jade egg in, it’s highly symbolic and pleasurable to actually birth it out of you, but not necessary. 

As I birth myself out, I am the one, with the support of the goddess and god energies, pulling my baby – ME – out.

Birthing myself out into my own loving hands. I immediately swaddle myself into my arms, my breasts already overflowing with abundant milk, like liquid gold continuously flowing like a fountain of youth.

NURTURING AND NOURISHMENT

I imagine taking myself onto my own breast, which is ripe and ready to pour forth never-ending milk into the mouth of myself as a baby. As I nourish and nurture myself with my own milk I begin to worship the baby that is me.

I see my overflowing breast milk like a waterfall, flowing over and around the baby. Nourishing myself infinitely. 

I tell myself how ENOUGH and perfect I am…EXACTLY as I am now.

I tell myself how I am meant for riches, abundance, radiance, beauty, unconditional love, pleasure. How I will love every single part of me, forever and always no matter what.

I tell myself how beautiful, safe and welcomed I am. That I’m the most divine creation I’ve ever witnessed and felt inside of me. That I’m a celebration. I tell myself how I am safe and loved, even in those times in the future where I’ll feel otherwise.

I feel myself as the baby being nourished and nurtured by loving, sensual touch and overflowing breast milk from the mother that is ME. I feel my little baby belly swelling with nourishment and love. Glowing and radiating my own beauty. Knowing I’m welcomed, safe and loved. 

Whatever else I need in this moment, I allow the mother in me to give that to myself. Certain touch. Certain soothing words. More milk. A deeper love. 

END OF RITUAL

Please know that there may be deeper work you need to do. Processing emotions, dancing, journaling, meditation, talking with your mother or with friends and sisters of yours. Maybe you need to give yourself extra nourishment and love through the day. 

You also don’t need to necessarily be battling mother (or even father) issues to do this practice. Anytime you find yourself lost in an old limiting belief or feeling that isn’t so good, it can be amazing to hold yourself in love and light and give yourself the deeper, more ecstatic re-birth and mothering you really need. 

If you need support, please come into my private Facebook group for women so we can hold you in the love, beauty and brilliance that you are as a sensual, erotic and orgasmic woman.

I’m also going to be leading a guided jade egg ecstatic re-birth journey in my upcoming Jade Egg Sexual Mastery 9-week course, because we do a lot of deep work with the womb and pussy to release the old and imprint the new.

Basically we’re always re-birthing ourselves from this space of orgasmic ecstasy through the jade egg practice and you’ll have tons of support, tools and healing techniques to help you sink deeper into a space of love, safety and trust in your sexual body. 

You can also start your journey to ecstatic rebirth through my brand new FREE 3-part video training series called 3 Jade Egg Secrets for Deeper Vaginal Pleasure and Whole Body Orgasms! Sign up for 3 Jade Egg Secrets here.

This is my most in-depth and pleasurable training yet. I put a LOT of heart, soul and sexual energy into it and definitely re-birthed myself through ecstasy while creating it. The jade egg practice will do that to you! 

Now an invitation for you to go deeper:

• How do you want to be re-birthed?
• What does it feel like to re-birth yourself in an ecstatic, orgasmic way? 
• What do you need after this ritual to love and accept yourself unconditionally?

xx

Amber