You may or may not know, but I’m currently studying under Jaiya and her lover, Ian, to become certified to teach and coach around the Erotic Blueprints.
While doing this program we have to mutually coach with a practice partner. Well, my coach/practice partner gave me the hottest, sexiest…and potentially most triggering…homeplay ever.
Side note: read this all the way through and notice the body sensations, thoughts, emotions and stories coming up for you. There will be an invitation for some erotic play at the end where we can look at what’s coming up together…anyway, read on.
I had to embody my inner Courtesan and have Andy throw money at me/all over my body during our erotic play date.
My intention was to step into the energy and erotic role of the Courtesan and let myself receive money (and lots of it) in a sexual scenario.
Courtesans were womxn who during the Inquisition were the only womxn allowed to have their own money or buy their own property. The courtesan had sex as a superpower and also their intoxicating radiance, intelligence, political influence, creative and artistic expression and embodiment of their own erotic power along with flirtation and seduction…in the most divine form.
Most of these courtesans influenced upper-class clients and wealthy men. There are many facets and archetype names for the Courtesan, depending on culture, location, history, etc.
Check out the movie Dangerous Beauty, which is about the courtesan Veronica Franco from Venice. My mentor Regena Thomashauer (Mama Gena) wove the courtesan into her Mastery program that I took in 2019 and it was so beautiful to reclaim this archetype.
Anyway, I told Andy our homeplay was to do this and as he was dropping Scarlet off at his parents’ house for our date, he texted me this picture…
 |
…and my whole body turned into this pulsing erotic electrical current. I felt so much coming up. Nervousness. Excitement. Deep arousal. I was turned the fuck ON. Ready, waiting, wanting.
I was noticing the thoughts coming up…
- Am I being too much right now?
- Is this ridiculous?
- What would other womxn think?
- Am I objectifying myself?
- Am I devauling myself?
I was committed to this though. I’ve used money on myself as a form of worship and playing with courtesan-ish archetypes by myself during self pleasure a million times, but never with Andy. This was new for me.
My whole body was aching for this experience though, because I knew it was going to integrate some deep shadows and wounds I’ve had around money and sex.
When he got home I was practically about to explode with the erotic tension and anticipation. He told me he’d taken $500 out of the bank to use. That turned me on even more!
Obviously my worth is not determined by any amount of money, even though the Patriarchal systems like to teach us otherwise, but it was hot to know that it wasn’t just going to be $40, because the Courtesan in me wanted to be treated with that HIGH-CLASS MONEY.
We did some erotic breathwork together, played with sensation items and then moved into the “scene” where he was throwing money all over me. I let my inner Courtesan out and I felt whatever sensations and emotions were coming up and met them with LOVE and erotic energy.
Total approval. I got right with and got off on all of them and fully melted into the experience, drinking up every last drop like the smoothest glass of full-bodied red wine. Reveling, worshiping, receiving the total pleasure.
It was fun, playful, healing, transformational and allowed me to access a part of me that LOVES sex and money, even in the same scenario.
So did anything come up for you? Any triggers?
I want to remind you that any thoughts you have towards me or this experience only reflect how you feel about this part within yourself… so you can either continue to repress, project and secretly judge it in yourself and others…or you can play with it and do a little role play with this part of yourself who wants to come out.
Not only did I complete my homeplay (shout out to the part of me who loves being a good girl student haha) but I had an incredibly healing, intimate and hot as fuck experience with myself and Andy around money and sex.
By the way, I also want to lovingly shout out to those who are sex workers in any form, currently or in the past (maybe even you), and say that I deeply respect and support this work in it’s various forms.
There’s more work we have to do in this world to decriminalize sex work. I definitely think it starts with us each looking at our own shadows surrounding archetypes that deal with money and sex so that we can stop projecting our own shadows onto those who do this work in real-time.
I hope this inspired you in some way.
x
Amber
PS: Want a private and erotic play space to discuss stuff like this without shame and with total pleasure and approval?
Join my free private Facebook group for womxn only, Reclaiming Your Eroticism Play Group!
We’ll be diving deep into working with archetypes like this here and excavating the forbidden erotic parts of yourself so you can access your true erotic nature, power and pleasure.