As a lover of the erotic and sacred sexuality, especially ancient sexual practices and traditions stemming from Tantra and Taoism, sexual healing is a big part of the work I do with myself and the women I’m blessed to support and hold space for. 

Sacred sexuality to me means that we bring everything into sexuality and recognize that sexuality is everything and within everything. It’s holistic and the underlying energy that weaves beneath and within all of life, including our relationship(s), finances, career, creativity, sex drive, emotional state and spiritual connection among the rest.

Sacred sexuality invites us to treat sex, meaning sexuality as a whole and sexual energy (the primal energy of life-force), as something sacred. Something that consists of both dark shadows and radiant light.

Something that can bring us immense whole body pleasure, increase our creativity, make us feel juicy, magnetic and turned on WHILE simultaneously creating a space and experience for deep sexual healing. 

Sexual healing is something that is seriously under looked these days yet I personally feel that almost every issue we have on this planet (famine, war, rape, hatred, addiction, disease, etc.) is due to sexual energy that is stuck, stagnant, warped and twisted or completely blocked and cut off due to things like shame, trauma stored in the body, fear of our sexuality, religious imprinting of shame towards sex, etc. 

Sexual healing is something I think we all need and not just once, but as an ingredient that is always on the menu. Even while we’re having multiple orgasms. Sexual energy is healing energy and we can direct this energy to heal different parts of our bodies or lives. 

Sexual healing has allowed me to heal the sexual relationship with myself and become more intimate, connected and orgasmic during self pleasure. Through this devotion to my own sacred sexual relationship, I’ve also been able to build and enhance all of that with my partner as I allow him to experience sexual healing with me. 

Ancient practices rooted in Tantra and Taoism from the Eastern part of the world included a lot of sexual healing modalities in their teachings that allow individuals and couples to heal themselves and experience healing with one another, releasing their old, untrue sexual identity and step fully into their erotic power, pleasure, truth and orgasmic potential. 

These teachings and practices include things like transformational breath work, certain sex positions to release emotions, yoni or lingam massage (massage of the pussy or penis), g-spot aka ‘Sacred Spot’ massage, sexual reflexology zone massage during penetration and yogic postures during sex, to name some. 

If you’ve been struggling sexually and wondering whether you might need sexual healing (or perhaps your partner), then here are 13 signs that you’d deeply benefit from some loving, sexual healing. 

1. You struggle with vaginal numbness, dryness (no lubrication), tightness/tension or pain during sex (your cervix or g-spot might hold a lot of tension, hardness, numbness or pain when touched). You might feel no sensation during penetration or feel intense, excruciating pain.

This might make sex close to impossible for you or leave you feeling like a body being masturbated into as you lie there, feeling nothing (and saying nothing), hoping your lover finishes quickly so you can go on with your life and pretend it didn’t happen. 

 

2. You have stress or urinary incontinence or other bladder, womb, ovary and vaginal struggles like fibroids, ovarian cysts, infertility, yeast infections, kidney infections, lower back pain or painful periods and terrible mood swings during your menstrual cycle. 

 

3. You’ve experienced sexual trauma before and it’s holding you back, keeping you stuck in a fight, flight or freeze mode every time something makes you feel unsafe; and you often or regularly feel unsafe, especially when it comes to sex, sensuality or pleasure of any kind.

You find yourself often triggered into this nervous system response by daily experiences like honking car horns in traffic, dealing with financial situations or fights with your partner. 

 

4. You don’t feel turned on, have no libido or desire for sex or feel like you’re just not a sexual woman (even though deep down you secretly desire to be and KNOW you are naturally).

You might find yourself faking orgasms to get it over with, lying there not speaking up during sex or pretending you’re tired or asleep when your partner approaches you for sex at night. You might also think to yourself, “Is this really it? Is this all there is? Isn’t there more??!”

 

5. You’ve experienced other traumatic situations that have to do with sexuality, femininity or the feminine cycles like miscarriages, painful birthing experiences or abortions. You might feel that you’re energetically holding onto something in your vagina, womb or breasts that feels unresolved, unaccepted or unforgiven. 

 

6. You struggle with sexual shame and feel like you can’t be yourself as a sexual woman – not that you really seem to know who you are as a sexual woman. You have so much shame it’s painful to even think about muddling through it all.

You might base how you dress, how much you enjoy pleasure privately or publicly or how you express yourself based on your shameful thoughts and feelings.

Maybe you opt for a turtle neck and long pants instead of that sexy little dress you secretly want to wear, shut down your pleasure moans and sighs while eating (even though the food would be so. fucking. orgasmic. if you truly tasted it) or you choose not to speak up about your erotic desires because you’re afraid your partner will judge you as a ‘slut’ or think you’re bad, dirty, wrong, not lovable, etc.

7. You struggle with orgasm or feel limited in your erotic, orgasmic potential. Maybe you only have clitoral orgasms, for example, and they leave you feeling depleted, shallow and frustrated afterwards. Or maybe you can’t seem to experience orgasm at all and it makes you feel like something is seriously wrong with you.

This might leave you feeling like perhaps you’re not an orgasmic woman…maybe you don’t have a g-spot like other women or maybe you’ll never have that kind of pleasure. 

 

8. You’re terrified of going deep inside of your vagina, whether yourself or a lover and you don’t like touching or penetrating the inside of your own pussy. You might feel grossed out by the texture of your vagina and it freaks you out to think about touching yourself inside.

There’s just too much in there, what might happen? What might be deeply embedded in there?

9. You don’t love or accept your pussy as she is: you think she’s inconvenient, ugly, a source of trouble or she makes you bad, dirty and wrong. You can’t look at her in the mirror, touch her or even find some acceptance in how she is (pubic hair, pussy lips, scent and all). 

 

10. You struggle with intimacy, connection, boundaries and communication around sex and pleasure. You can’t seem to look your partner in the eye during sex, have loose boundaries that often leave you feeling hurt, unwanted, rejected, used or like you can’t trust yourself to say no or yes when it feels right and you can’t seem to get up the courage to say what you really want, how you want to be touched and what turns you on or off with confidence to your partner. 

 

11. You can’t seem to fully access and circulate your sexual energy (beyond the typical unaroused, subtle state we ALL live in day-to-day) and you feel like it’s blocked, stuck or stagnant in your pelvis or a specific chakra.

When you try to do breathing practices (if you do them currently) you might feel the energy gets stuck in your lower half and won’t raise up. Or you might feel a complete disconnection from the neck down, unable to feel any sensation, sexual energy or arousal in your genitals. 

 

12. You struggle with giving and/or receiving pleasure: you feel guilty, like you’re being too indulgent or you then over-give to compensate any receiving. You might try to over please your partner to return to your “pleasure comfort zone.” You may struggle with being able to truly, fully surrender during sex, receiving every ounce of pleasure.

Or you might struggle with truly, fully surrendering to giving your partner as much pleasure as possible and being present with them. You might avoid your partner’s cock (or pussy) in fear or giving pleasure and you might keep avoid letting them go down on you, finger you or bring you any kind of slow, sensual pleasure.

 

13. You find yourself judging or shaming others for their sexual choices, preferences or expression. You might struggle with jealousy towards other women, especially those who are expressing themselves as sexually free and empowered beings.

You might label them as a ‘slut,’ ‘whore’ or someone who is bad, dirty, wrong, unlovable, etc. Yet deep down you secretly long to feel that free sexually in yourself. 

Over the next few weeks I’ll be sharing some actual sexual practices you can do to help heal yourself sexually. You can also get started by downloading a copy of my free Jade Egg Sexual Mastery ebook if you’re curious about using the Taoist Jade Egg Practice as part of this path and journey to true sexual healing and ecstasy. 

Sexual healing doesn’t always have to be thought of as painful, uncomfortable or scary. Sometimes it definitely can be those things, but it’s also possible for sexual healing to be fun, practical, easy, deep and even pleasurable or orgasmic. Oftentimes, sex is both orgasmic and healing. 

What’s on the other side of sexual healing is deeper pleasure, whole body orgasms, true sexual fulfillment, feeling juicy and creative, magnetizing your desires to you, sexual surrender and receptivity, connection with your body, pussy and lover(s) and soooo much more!

Now an invitation for you to go deeper:

• Do you resonate with any of these signs for sexual healing?
• What do you feel holds you back from experiencing what you truly desire to experience sexually?
• What do you look forward to the most when it comes to your sexual healing and awakening journey? 

Come play with me on Instagram where I share tons of juicy tips, practices and musings on sacred sexuality, eroticism and sensuality or join my private Facebook group for women. We are 1300+ women and growing!

Sending you so much love!

xx

Amber

P.S. I have a brand new orgasmic breath work practice coming your way soon that you can use daily for deep sexual healing, cultivating sexual energy and expanding your erotic pleasure for whole body orgasms!! To get the exclusive invite for this practice, sign up for my erotic email musings here (and get a free copy of my jade egg ebook!).