I remember the first time I ever gave a man (or rather, a boy) head. I was 17 and we were at the movie theatre, sitting way in the back. Out of nowhere my boyfriend at the time whipped his cock out, grabbed my head and pushed it down onto his cock rather suddenly.
I had a lot of mixed feelings flowing through me in that moment.
First of all, I was shocked. He literally didn’t even give me a moment to fully see and anticipate his cock. It was in his pants one moment and down my throat the next. Almost in the blink of an eye.
I didn’t really want to give him head, but I also wanted to be loved and liked.
I didn’t feel comfortable, but I also didn’t really know how to say no.
Sure, the experience did have a playful and naughty element to it (what if we got caught?!) and it was a first for me, but it also sent me down a road of honestly hating cock and avoiding giving men oral pleasure for the longest time.
If I did give a boyfriend oral sex, it felt forced, un-enjoyable or like something I did to gain love, acceptance or approval.
In fact, I remember one time in particular that I’ve had to do some major healing around recently.
In February 2014 my grandma passed away and when my ex-boyfriend and I got back to my house after the hospital he tried to initiate sex with me. I was already an emotional mess so I said no.
He reacted to my saying no in a defensive manner, which only caused me to react from a confused space of wanting to get his love back. He wasn’t giving me love so I offered to give him a blow job to appease him.
He snapped at me and said, “You just said you didn’t want to have sex and now you’re offering me a blow job?!”
I started crying and sobbed out the words “I don’t know!”
This experience (among the rest) has been unknowingly guiding my relationship with cock over the years.
Instead of seeing a man’s cock as a beautiful extension and representation of the man he truly is (and is constantly becoming) and his presence, consciousness and penetrative abilities — inside AND outside of the bedroom — I saw cock as something that felt intimidating, harmful and even degrading.
Something to avoid when possible and appease when love was denied…all out of fear.
But a man’s cock is the extension of who he is. It’s not about judging him nor is it about how well his cock performs, but rather your relationship with how much you want to adore, love, worship and honor the man you’re with and the extension of WHO he is — his cock.
Obviously the same thing applies to a woman and her pussy if you are a woman reading this or your lover has a pussy. My pussy is a representation of WHO I am.
So I ask you…What is your experience of giving oral sex to your partner like right now?
Does it feel like an obligation, perhaps something you avoid?
Do you enjoy it? Find great pleasure in it?
When you can truly offer love, devotion and pleasure to a partner (regardless of sexual orientation – but speaking in terms of cock for myself right now) through oral sex, it can catapult your shared sex life and relationship into a life-changing realm.
What I mean is that every time you go down on your partner, you’re able to see it as an offering. An offering that feels good for both of you. Something that leaves you feeling like a changed woman…opened, surrendered, rejuvenated.
Back in the day I would never have thought about giving head to a partner as something I could truly enjoy and love.
Partly because I was with partners who I wasn’t really able to honor what their cock meant to me. I didn’t honor the man or the cock.
Now I’m with a man who I adore…and ALL of him. His cock included.
So in honor of truly loving men (or those with cocks) and their cocks, especially my partner’s, I want to share a special secret with you that will literally change your experience of giving oral sex.
It’s not something you’ll find in Cosmopolitan Magazine — like Rock his World With This Blow Job Stroke…although those things can be fun to bring in.
It’s something much deeper and life-changing for YOU as the one giving. And yes, it will also rock his world, blow his mind, open his heart and send him on a pleasure rocket into the cosmos (;
Techniques, strokes and other mechanical aspects of giving pleasure are important, but the underlying energy and emotion that goes into GIVING this pleasure is much more important.
I’ll share more with you in this week’s video.
I’ll give you my #1 secret to giving him the hottest, most amazing blow job ever and some steps you can take to implement it. And what’s hot to me is that a man feels opened, surrendered, pleasured and fulfilled after a sexual experience on ALL levels — not just that he had an ejaculation.
I want my partner to feel closer to me and himself sexually, emotionally, spiritually and more.
So let’s get into this special secret. I can’t wait to share it with you. By the way, I have an extra amazing bonus secret for you too! Watch below.
You might also enjoy watching my video Cock Worship Secrets – How to Give Head Like a Goddess.
If you want to learn more about creating a solo sexual ritual through the jade egg practice, then download my ebook,7 Jade Egg Secrets for Deeper Vaginal Pleasure & Orgasms.
I would love for you to share this video with any woman (or your lover!) in your life to spread the female turn on love! You can subscribe to my YouTube channel here to stay updated with my weekly video.
You can also come play with me on Instagram or join my private Facebook group for women only.
Enjoy!
xx
Amber
Please elaborate on how to cope when your partner has a very small cock. I cannot enjoy it because I feel so yucky about it. He is very understanding of my rejection of his cock. But I feel bad about it in every way. I cant get over it. I love blow jobs but I just cant do it.
Hi Rebecca,
I know every woman is different and have many different preferences when it comes to size, shape, etc. of a man’s penis. I’ve been in a situation where a partner had a cock that I considered “too small” for me. This was before I did any of my own personal sexual work so I can’t speak to how that might have shifted if I’d been doing my own work. I also know that I didn’t trust the man that he was…so I don’t think it would have been possible for me to fully love him or his cock.
I invite you to consider what your conditioning or beliefs might be around the size of a man’s cock and what it means to you. I like thinking of a man’s cock as an extension of WHO he is – not necessarily in regards to his size, of course, but his ability to be a source of consciousness, penetration and be presence. What do you love about WHO he is as a man, lover and partner?
If you’re feeling disgust and rejection when you are going down on him, obviously he’ll feel it and neither of you will enjoy it. Is there anyway that you can drop fully into pleasuring, loving, worshiping and honoring his cock (exactly the way it is) and the man he is?
I hope that helps a little bit!
xx
Amber
Hey!!
I could relate with your blog.
First, I didn’t liked to give blow job.. But the second time I did it… That really made me feel like a goddess.
I hope I will able to discover more.
Loved the post and video.
Thanks!!
Hi April,
Thanks for commenting and sharing your experience! Enjoy your ever-unfolding oral sex journey with feeling like a goddess! It can open you up to so much of WHO you are too.
xx
Amber